Question-Week ending Sunday 01/11/04:
Choose from our list of relationships, WHO you find it EASIEST to forgive when they have upset or hurt you in some way? Please read our Pre-Poll Commentary before taking this poll.
Pre-Poll Commentary:
We are down to our last two topics in our Qualities of Leadership poll series, which began on August 24th, 2003. With only two weeks left in this series, in this week's poll, we will be discussing the act of FORGIVING. For the purpose of this poll, we will fine tune the definition of forgiving in two parts. The first part is - "to renounce anger or resentment against another." Then secondly to take the forgiving process one step further - "to reconciliation or the reestablishing of cordial relations between the parties."
This two step process described above is not an easy process for most people. When a family member, friend or co-worker performs an act of distrust or hurts you emotionally or otherwise, it's not easy to forgive them. It usually takes one party to try to mend the relationship - and both parties to cooperate to reestablish cordial relations.
Too many people find it more natural to hold a grudge, get revenge, or just complain and be angry for years. No one benefits in either of these reactions.
Great leaders will at least attempt to negotiate their way back to cordial relations, when some harmful feelings have been created between relationships. The old metaphor of not burning bridges holds a great deal of merit in relationships.
We all find it easier to forgive some people than others. Let us know in this week's poll, WHO you have found it EASIEST to forgive when they have upset or hurt you in some way? This poll will end on Sunday 01/11/04, when the results will be displayed.
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Results:
- 34% of voters chose from our list of relationships "THEIR CHILDREN" as being EASIEST to forgive
- 25% of voters chose from our list of relationships "THEIR SPOUSE OR LOVER" as being EASIEST to forgive
- 22% of voters chose from our list of relationships "THEIR MOTHER OR FATHER" as being EASIEST to forgive
- 11% of voters chose from our list of relationships "THEIR FRIENDS" as being EASIEST to forgive
- 05% of voters chose from our list of relationships "THEIR BROTHERS OR SISTERS" as being EASIEST to forgive
- 03% of voters chose from our list of relationships "THEIR CO-WORKERS" as being EASIEST to forgive
Post-Poll Commentary:
From our poll results this week, it appears that our viewers find their children as being easiest to forgive from the list of relationships we provided. The top three choices were fairly close with spouse or lover coming in second, closely followed by mother or father. I found it interesting that only 5% chose brothers or sisters. I couldn't help but think that perhaps inheritance battles when parents pass may have something to do with this low score? Or maybe the mobility of siblings moving and settling far apart from each other has an impact on otherwise happier childhood relationships.
As mentioned in our Pre-Poll Commentary above, no one benefits from estranged relationships that breed hate and contempt. Although it's not easy to "forgive and reconcile" with another, an attempt to "forgive and forget" without complete reconciliation will bring more peace of mind to the forgiving party.
The ability to forgive is just one more quality of great leaders. Great leaders need maximum energy to perform and cannot afford to have any of their precious energy devoted to emotions of hate, anger or revenge. The release of these emotions set energy free to be used for more positive and worthy purposes.